Studio 360

In a little swim meet when there were only two of us in a particular race, and the other girl and I were so evenly matched and even looked alike, my father told me that I was not racing the girl; I was racing the clock. I carry that with me always. I do not feel I am in competition with anyone except myself, competing to show personal best.

My grandmother, aged 98, has lost her sight and most of her hearing. Her advise to me, "Its a great life if you don't weaken." Everything makes her laugh. One morning she woke up thinking that she was her internal age (32). She was shocked that she couldn't just hop out of bed. She thought it was so funny that she almost peed in her pants.

My college adviser, as I was getting ready to graduate, told me the two things you need in life are to know you can support yourself and that you can be alone. That ability for self-sufficiency, both financial and emotional, has allowed me to weather many things in life without cutting me off from others.

Resentment corrodes a life faster than anything else. Once when I was fuming over some insult, or deception, my mother-in-law said "Remember dear, if someone throws up on you, that's the one with the upset stomach." She was right! You just have to clean yourself up and move on.

I loved this morning's feature about old people. Thank you so much!

When I worked at Sloan Kettering one of my patients, a retired school teacher who was in her late 80's, said to me, while wagging her finger, "When someone kisses you, you kiss them back!". What a great attitude!

As a young man, an artist and a very mobile person at the time, a gallery owner once told me, "One day you should put down roots so that luck knows where to find you."

My favorite and most sustaining expression of wisdom is a personal recipe for happiness and good health from my great aunt, Lelia C. Hughes, of Pasadena, California -- who lived to 2 weeks short of 106 years old, despite two occurrences of breast cancer, about a decade apart, at mid-life. Here is Lelia's "recipe":

that the sun would shine, and that she would have at least one good laugh a day and something gooey for dessert! (Chocolate in any form, even a solid block of the darkest chocolate, always counted as "something gooey.")

As a college senior about to receive my BA in civil engineering, I was offered ateaching assistantship to worktoward a masters degree. I had also been offered a very good job with the US Navy in Washington. At a loss as to which way to jump, I asked the advice of my favorite professor, Max Parshall. I believed that he could do anything. He asked me if I wanted to be an enginee, and I said yes, of course. His advice was "Then take the job and learn how to be an engineer!" I did, and I have a 40 year carreer to look back on.

Here's some advice from an older person I found instructive. I worked with Ralph, a 68 year old man and I was 30 then (66 now). I had made a mistake and apologized more than once when Ralph stepped back and rasing his voice proclaimed "Mistakes! everybody makes mistakes, the important thing is how you correct them".

Wow, great broadcast!

My greatest advice or saying from someone was my Dad, John.

I was visiting him about 1987 and we were finishing up working on his farm in North Florida, and I showered getting ready to go out in DeFuniak Springs to have some beers. He asked what I was going to do and I told him that, as I sted earlier in the sentence. He said why? I told him I want to get out and do something, he said why not get a 12 pack of beer and come back and play Gin Rummy with me. I said, okay.

Got the beer and dad and I shared our first beer as men.

We were playing Gin Rummy and and I closed out a lot, he said-why not play to the end of the deck and see what goes. I did.

During our time haning out drinking bee (I drank most of it, he had 3 at most) he said to me the problem with my generation (I was 33 years old) is the when thigns get boring we gotta move and do other things to be entertained. He said that when he was growing up (he was born in 1912) that they called that living.

Every since then I have done my best to be busy and remember that. So, when I get "bored" I find something about my house to do..fix, clean or just work on.

To me that was the best advice I have ever gotten and i live by that now.

Life is strange, but life has always been good to me since i adpted his advice. I am happy and I am happy wiht what I have done since then. Dad was far wiser than Iknoew before then.

I even told him all his advice as I was growing up and had rebeled against, he was right.

My advice, listen to your elders, they hav a wealth of knowledge that is untapped and always a try at.

God Bless my dad and mom for teaching me the ins and outs of good work, respect and humour in life.

Your column on the wisdom of our elders seems timely. Our youth-oriented, technology-enamored society often shuns the perspectives of those who grew up without the material trappings and burdens of today. Recently, I recognized that one elderly person I know had a valuable perspective on sales. I submitted a blog entitled "Senior Moment: What our Elders Can Teach Us about Sales, which has been popular with many people, especially seniors. Here's the link:

http://www.customerthink.com/blog/what_our_elders_can_teach_us_about_sales

When I was much younger I was, and "still" am interested in classic european sports cars.

I used to deal with an old gentleman that imported these types of cars and he always helped me buy cars that I could drive and later sell at a profit one or two years later. His comment to me was "Never love anything that can't love you back" Over the years I have learned how true this is about cars and anything else.

Currently listening to your phone conversation with Gene Shalit...what a treat!

So here is my memory that's helped me and stayed with me since my high school years (1957-61), when I studied piano with a lady named Alice Ritchey Thomas in Charleston Illinois. She was then in her late 70s, and I was her final REAL piano student, after years of teaching students from truly interested and talented to kids who were taking only because their mothers wanted them to take piano.

MEMORY: "The height of art is to conceal all art." Corollary to that was her laughingly cynical comment: "A good pianist is a lazy pianist." Oh, another quote had to do with how to teach: "Start with the known and proceed to the unknown."

There. You got three quotes for the price of one. How much I've actually put these into practice is still unknown, but they've stayed with me, so that's worth something. I'm now 66 years old, so I must be a senior myself. (I am a member of AARP.)

Lakota Wisdomkeeper Mat King--Chief Noble Red Man--told me:

"Life is not an entertainment.

Life is a Holy Task."

That one line has changed my life forever.

from Harvey Arden, author of

WISDOMKEEPERS

NOBLE RED MAN

& OTHER BOOKS ON INDIGENOUS WISDOM

202-244-4693

I wouldn't call him "old," but on my father's 60th birthday, I asked him if he had any words of wisdom he'd like to share with me and my brother. He said he'd think about it and get back to us, and a couple of days later he offered three pieces of advice: always wear slippers when you're walking through the house in the dark, because you never know if your children have left Legos or GI Joes on the floor; always hold onto the handrail when you're going up or down stairs because you will eventually, fall and it's better to be ready for it; and lastly, if you find yourself in a situation where you aren't sure if someone you are working with is being truthful, you will live a happier life if you give that person the benefit of the doubt until evidence suggests otherwise. He could have said "prepare for the worst, but expect the best," but I like his version better. Thanks for another great show!

I can particularly relate to what #6, William Hays said, as I myself have just "come home" after a long mobile journey for the same reason, and after similar advice had been planted.

In any case, my elders (mentors and peers) have passed on to and taught me an abundance of nuggets of wisdom. Here are three, and a parting quote:

~When in trouble, seek help from the nearest "old" person

~Learn, and teach, how to ask for help and how to distinguish between stress and distress

~On love and personal boundaries:

*"Falling in love" is dangerous - for that is why it is called falling, it makes you unsteady and unsure.

*Real love is grounded, patient, reciprocal and entails real, mature conversations.

*Move slowly, slowly toward love - even if you have to stop and / or step away for some time to contemplate, reflect, and understand.

*Last but not least, ask lots, lots and lots of questions.

~As per K. Gilbran, when love beckons to you, follow him though his ways are hard and steep.

My grandmother told me to be a angel in my daily life and a devil in the bedroom.

I moved here in 2005, and my mother told me that she thought I had a couson living here. It turned out that her 88-yr old cousin was living a block away from me! We've become really good friends, and just a few weeks ago she told me, "You know, I missed a lot because I said 'no' before I said 'maybe.' That's my advice to you," she said. "Say 'maybe' before you say 'no.'"

My mother, an Irish immigrant born in 1909 said among a lot of other things "Don't try to save a buck on the back of the working man."

One of the wisest (and gentlest souled) elders I've met in my life was Ed Peterson, native Los Angeleno (born and raised in Hollywood), a retired landscaper for the Los Angeles Unified School District and the seed collector for the Theodore Payne Foundation for Wildflowers and Native Plants when I met and profiled him for the Los Angeles Times Sunday Magazine in the late 1980s. He was 82 years old then and he was 87 when I did a short video of him in 1993. In the video he talked about feeling "quite young in many ways," so much so, that when he went for his morning walks, especially when it was cool weather, "sometimes I feel like jumping." His advice for living then: "Look to the future and keep moving." He was blind by the age of 96 and could be found listening to the lectures of Emerson in the assisted living facility where he lived those last years in Hollywood. I attended his 100th birthday party in April of 2004, which he also celebrated with a sleep-on-the-ground-camp-out in the local mountains. When he passed away later that year, it was noted with obituaries in both the New York Times and the Los Angeles Times. The video and magazine profile can be seen at my website, nancyspiller.org, posted under the "words" heading at the homepage.

My grandfather once advised me in a letter: 'Don't stay on the outside of things.' This wasn't some sage utterance from someone who had triumphed - he was talking about himself and regretting his own genteel English diffidence. Involvement, engagement, even abandonment - these are not very English things. Did I learn anything from what he said? I hope so.

When I was young, my grandmother always preached the Golden Rule, which I thought was just, well, preachy. At her funeral, the priest gave a talk in which he told how, when she called him from the hospital to come visit as she knew it was her last night on Earth, when he came in, she asked about his wife and his sons by name and they talked aobut them. He was so impressed with what a caring, selfless person she was. I had never realized it, but she really and truly did live by the Golden Rule. Every day I strive to be a person my grandmother would be proud of.

I always felt that equating wisdom with age was over-rated as I spent my childhood with "grown ups" telling me that when I was older I would understand. Well, I am older, and I still don't understand. "Grown ups" kept telling me that I wasn't "realy" in love (I was); or didn't know what I really wanted (I did); or didn't appreciate what I had (ditto); My nana was a witch and refused to pick up children but we were told "respect your elders." Wisdom comes in all sizes and shapes but not necessarily the product of years lived. Sorry to contradict. I'm almost 50 so you better post this. ha. ha.

As a child my grand mother used to always say, "Failing to plan is planning to fail" I just passed it on as the griping of an old lady until I wised up. She was right! My grandkids have been raised on the same mantra!