If you're an American, it's hard not to be exasperated by the French right now.

[CLIP OF FRENCH FOREIGN MINISTER TALKING ABOUT AMERICA IN ENGLISH:
"If Iraq does not comply with its obligation then the security council will have to convene again and decide (and convene again, and convene again, and convene again….]

I don't think it really matters if you favor the invasion of Iraq or oppose it -- it seems clear that what's motivating the French in the United Nations right now is not so much peacemaking or statesmanship as the opportunity to jerk America's chain.

And so the writer Christopher Hitchens calls France The Rat That Roared. Jay Leno and David Letterman make fun of France on their shows night after night.

LENO:
"…the kids from Bulgaria have been moving armies of prostitutes across the earth to await the arrival of our US troops. Hey-it's more than the French are doin' for us, give 'em a pat on the back…"

But this current American antipathy seems deeper and more visceral than a matter of geopolitical policy differences. It feels like it's serving some deeper American cultural need.

Jibes against the French, of course, have been a fairly continuous feature of our popular culture. Take the foolish, self-serious Inspector Clouseau in the Pink Panther series:

PINK PANTHER CLIP:
"This is Chief Inspector Clouseau's residanse…this is Chief Inspector Clouseau speaking on the tel…Good evening, commissioner! How are you? How is madame? And all the little commissioners?"

The fact that the French cultural elite were early and passionate worshippers of Jerry Lewis and the actor Mickey Rourke is recited in this country as a kind of anti-French joke.

But all of that was pretty low-level and good-natured.

Why are SO many Americans venting SUCH spleen at France right now?

Because they aren't allowed to bash New York City any more.

Think about it.

For decades, New York was THE place that regular Americans in the provinces loved to hate.

New York was the place to the east that thought it was lots more important than it was, and more beautiful and civilized than anywhere else.

New York was the place with a distinct left-wing political tilt that had a lot invested in the United Nations.

New York was the place full of smug skinny stylish people who smoked cigarettes and cared too much about movies and fashion and literature and restaurants.

In other words, New York City was objectionable in almost all the same ways that France is.

On 9/11, however, New York became a victim and was, as everybody said at the time, re-integrated with the rest of the country. New Yorkers embraced America, and vice-versa. United we stand.

MOVIE CLIP:
"Besides, I thought you hated New York!" "I only hated New York when it was hip to hate New York. Now it's not hip to hate it anymore so I don't hate it."

And so it became impermissible for even red-blooded middle-American populists to bash New York anymore.

But that deep American DESIRE to beat up on SOME nest of chic, rude, over-intellectual left-wing snobs did not simply evaporate. And now, 18 months later, France has stuck its little finger in America's eye and, voila, all that pent-up unexpressed rage is blasting forth in reaction.

In other words, for now, France is performing the role traditionally played by New York City.

And the twist is that this anti-French festival just reinforces New Yorkers' post-9/11sense of being part of America. Because finally we get to be among the bashers instead of the bashees.

At least for now. When and if real peace returns, I guarantee Americans and New Yorkers will get back to dissing each other all over again.

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